A one-stop-shop for the best of what's cool, funny and helpful for women around the web. A woman wearing a burka looks unclean and unkempt and in hot summer days you cannot feel anything but sorry for her. On top of that, there is the general opinion that Muslim women are forced to keep themselves hidden which I understand is often not the case. On her Instagram stories she posted: “This week I posted an old photo of me wearing a burqa loaned to me by a friend, as she pointed out I was undermining its original purpose by wearing it with.

As a blue-eyed, blonde haired goddess in a modern, multicultural Western country, you are likely to be the object of desire for men from all walks of life. Muslim men will grab you in the streets and try to rip off your clothes, African Americans will whistle at you and compliment your behind, Indians will try to make you laugh, Asian men will dream about approaching you, white alpha males will approach you with cheesy pickup lines, while white nu-males will rush to your defense online when someone contradicts you. You literally have the world at your feet, and more choices than you know what to do with. So which lucky guy should you choose and why? There’s no right answer, but the Accredited Times has put together a guide to help you decide which color of the rainbow suits you best.

Muslim Men

Muslim men are fast gaining a reputation for being some of the best lovers on the market, with their Christian Grey style courting methods, and dominant, alpha male personas. Muslim men will treat you rough, just the way you like it. They’ll put you in a burka during the day, and treat you like the bad girl you really are at night. If you want a real man, get a Muslim man.

African American Men

African Americans are well renowned as the highest quality partners a white womyn can have. If you watch TV, commercials or Hollywood movies, you’ll know that about 90% of white womyn choose black men as their partners. With affirmative action programs and reparations programs, African American men are also increasingly wealthy, as they have rightfully been trained by the media to have even more self confidence than they already naturally have, making them the most self-assured partners around. We pay BLM the largest salary of anyone at the Accredited Times, and he’s slept with every womyn employee we have, multiple times. Once you go black, you never go back, because most bigoted white racist men won’t take you back.

Indian Men

You might find Indian men a little effeminate, but trust me, they’re romantic and very charming if you get to know them. They’ll ask you all about your dreams and ambitions, and have you in hysterics with their cheesy jokes.

Latino Men

Latino men are renowned for their wisdom. Why not sip a tequila while you discuss the coming reconquista of the Southern states, followed by a salsa dance and a night you’ll never forget. He’ll treat you like a lady, and play you love songs on his Spanish guitar.

Asian Men

Yeah, we know you find Asian Men kind of boring, but they like you, even if they’re too shy to admit it. An Asian man will treat you with reverence, and will make up for his lack of performance in the bedroom with a large pay check.

Jewish Men

If you don’t mind converting to Judaism like Ivanka Trump, and accepting the fact that your marriage could be one of strategic interest for Zionists trying to influence your rich father, Jewish men are an excellent choice. Mark Zuckerberg is happily married to his Vietnamese wife, who has since probably become a huge supporter of Israel and more wars in the Middle East.

White Men

Society conditions womyn from an early age to view white men as the image of status, maturity and attractiveness, but the accredited media is working hard to break this stereotype. White men may be the most popular men on dating sites with all womyn, but stories abound about naive white womyn settling down with who they thought was a nice, decent and mature white male, only to find later that he likes to beat his wife, is actually quite boring, or isn’t everything he was trumped up to be. If you really must choose a white male, then get yourself a cuckold, who doesn’t mind paying for your illegitimate brown children while you have fun with other guys. White males are good for money, but they’re pretty much useless for everything else.

So, there you have it. If you still feel lost and would like some guidance on how to find an ideal partner, please contact the Accredited Times for our free “mix it up” matchmaking service, where we find white womyn their ideal brown partners.

Jeremy Clarkson outrages viewers by announcing on Top Gear he'd seen saucy underwear beneath Muslim woman's burka

Jeremy Clarkson has joined the debate on whether burkas should be permitted in Britain in his own inimitable style.

The outspoken presenter provoked a flurry of complaints after telling viewers of Top Gear on Sunday night that he had seen a Muslim woman wearing saucy underwear beneath her gown.

Clarkson had been discussing the best way to stop drivers being distracted by female pedestrians, along with co-presenters Richard Hammond and James May.

More than six million viewers had tuned in to watch the show, which featured guest appearances from Hollywood stars Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz.

Burka row: More than six million viewers watched the show which featured Hollywood stars Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz

In front of the studio audience, he said: 'This is an important bit of news, I really want to bring this up. People imagine that the most dangerous time of the year to drive is November or perhaps February - dark nights, fog, ice.

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'But we were talking about this the other day and we think the most dangerous time to drive a car is round about now. Sunny skies, light breezes, girls wearing short skirts, because the thing is, you can't not look. You can't physically not look.'

Hammond interjected, saying: 'You can physically not use your mobile phone and it's easy not to drive home when you've had 18 pints of lager. But when you're driving along and a girl walks past, you have to look. Actually, do you not think that here, there is actually a case for the burka? Because then the problem would go away.'

Decision time: Tory MP Philip Hollobone has been warned he could face legal action if he follows through on a threat to refuse to meet constituents wearing burkas

Clarkson then replied: 'No, no, no. Honestly, the burka doesn't work. I was in a cab in Piccadilly the other day when a woman in a full burka crossing the road in front of me tripped over the pavement, went head over heels and up it came, red g-string and stockings. I promise that happened. The taxi driver will back me up on that.'

DIAZ AND CRUISE SET TOP GEAR RECORD

Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz set a new record on the show, after beating former leader Rupert Grint to head up the Star In A Reasonably-Priced Car leaderboard.

Diaz, who had some issues with her clutch during the race, was revealed as having beaten Grint with a time of 1 minute, 45.2 seconds.

But then, her Knight And Day co-star Cruise swooped in and took first place with a time of 1 minute, 44.2 seconds, leaving Clarkson gasping: 'That was a breathtaking thing!'

Speaking about the appearing on the motoring show, Cruise said: 'This is the best day. This was like a vacation!'

Cruise and Diaz now hold first and second places on the Star In A Reasonably-Priced Car leaderboard for this series of Top Gear.

Despite disbelief from his co-stars, Clarkson again insisted the incident took place.

By yesterday morning, seven viewers had already contacted the BBC to complain, while singer Lily Allen labelled the comment 'distasteful' on her Twitter site.

Another viewer wrote: 'Clarkson is too old for mini skirt jokes - burka story obscene - horrid.'

The debate has intensified across Europe after both France and Belgium announced they are introducing bans on veils earlier this month, prompting accusations of discrimination against Muslims.

Spain is considering it and similar calls have emerged in Britain, although these have been ruled out by the Coalition government.

The ban in France will include women wearing niqabs, veils covering the head and mouth while leaving the eyes exposed and the head-to-toe burkas, which also cover the eyes with a mesh mask.

Immigration Minister Damian Green, resisted demands from Tory MP Philip Hollobone to ban the burka, which critics claim is a symbol of the oppression of women.

Mr Green said a ban would be 'rather un-British' and run contrary to the conventions of a 'tolerant and mutually respectful society'. This is despite a YouGov survey which found that 67 per cent of voters wanted the wearing of full-face veils to be outlawed.

Clarkson, 50, is no stranger to controversy. In 2008, he famously mocked lorry drivers by saying they cared only about fuel prices and killing prostitutes - a reference to Suffolk Strangler Steven Wright and Yorkshire Ripper Peter Sutcliffe.

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His comments drew more than 300 complaints.

France and Belgium have announced they are introducing bans on veils

Muslim Women Clothing Burka

Last year he was condemned by the Royal National Institute of Blind People and Scottish politicians after he made disparaging remarks about Gordon Brown, calling him a 'one-eyed Scottish idiot'.

Women In Burka Dating Site Jokes

The Muslim Women's Network UK last night criticised Top Gear after they joked about using the burka as a way of preventing drivers being distracted by female pedestrians.

Women In Burka Dating Site Joker

Faeeza Vaid, co-ordinator at the organisation, said: 'The debate surrounding the burka is a serious issue which shouldn't be publicly joked about. Rather than joking about it, we should be having serious dialogue.'