What To Say In An Opening Message On A Dating Site

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Jul 17, 2017 “Opening lines, like first impressions, are really important — especially on dating apps or online-only contact — because people are so busy and so inundated with other responses,” says. First Message Strategy #1: Go For Laughs. Funny online dating messages get responses because women naturally find guys with a sense of humor attractive. It’s true – scientists have proven it. But the key to having a successful first message, of course, is actually being funny. On Tinder, you can pair an attention-grabbing GIF with a.

Struggling to come up with an online dating first message that will get a response? Turns out, most men fear writing that first message, so you’re not alone.

The good news is we’ve got you covered with 5 online dating first message strategies (with copy-and-paste examples to get you started).

But First, 2 Quick Tips

Use their name.

Research shows people really like hearing (or reading) their name. A general rule of thumb for an online dating first message is if you can organically and naturally work their name in, you should.

Ask a question.

You’re much more likely to get a response from your match if your online dating first message asks a fun or unusual question. This will pull your match out of auto pilot swiping mode and switch her attention to you. Jumping right into a specific convo shows experience chatting up women.

Online Dating First Message #1: ___ or ___?

An open-ended question like “What kind of things are you into?” is kinda boring to answer, and forces your match to steer the direction the convo will go in.

An either/or question format is assertive, and takes charge in a sexy way.

Examples:

You: Peanuts or almonds?
Cait: Almonds 100%. I’m actually allergic to peanuts!
You: Oh shoot…so you’re telling me Reeses aren’t a part of your life? 😳
Cait: Haha no unfortunately 😭😭😭

You: Jon Snow or Khal Drogo?
Leanna: Asking the right questions
Leanna: And the impossible ones
Leanna: God, I guess I’d have to go with Khal Drogo. Less broody…and pale.

Online Dating First Message #2: Last Thing

It’s deceivingly simple to ask the last thing your match did as your online dating first message, but it’s a super effective strategy. This is the kind of question a friend would ask, so you are starting things off intimately without coming off as creepy.

The “last thing” could be anything — last book she read, last podcast she listened to, last cool restaurant she went to … the list is endless, and easy to tailor to an interest she mentions in her bio.

Examples:

You: Hi, Madeline. What’s the last trip/vaca you’ve taken?
Madeline: Hey! I went to L.A. last month, and it was pretty great
You: Awesome! What kind of stuff did you do there?
Madeline: I was only there a weekend, but I checked out Malibu, Calabasas, and Echo Park area mostly.

You: Last movie you went to see in the theater?
Casey: Hey! Captain Marvel!
You: Ah, I saw that last weekend! What did you think?
Casey: I felt like the beginning was a little slow, but I liked it overall

Online Dating First Message #3: Dinner Guest

Asking your match who inspires her is a really good way to get to know someone. Just be ready for her to turn around and ask who you’d want to have dinner with too.

Examples:

You: Sara, if you could have dinner with anyone (living or dead), who would it be?
Sara: Hmmm…Amelia Earhart is pretty freaking inspiring. I’d love to chat with her and pick her brain
Sara: What about you?

You: Andrea, hi 🙂 Who would you most want to have dinner with, of anyone in the world?
Andrea: hey! I’d actually really like to meet Warren Buffet. His values are on point, and maybe he could give me tips on how to make more $ 😂

What to say in an opening message on a dating site for a

Online Dating First Message #4: Top Five

An easy and fun way to get your match talking about her interests is to ask her top five favorite…anything. You could come up with something random, or get bonus points for relating your top five question to something in her bio.

Examples:

(Meg’s bio states that she’s a movie buff)
You: Hey, Meg! What would you say your top 5 favorite movies are?
Meg: Hey! Ummm…probably The Pelican Brief, Catch Me If You Can, On Golden Pond, She’s All That, and Fight Club!

You: Hey! Top five favorite breakfast foods…go
Serena: hahaha ok
Serena: eggs benedict, cheese omelet, leftover pizza, waffles with blueberries, and yogurt parfait

Online Dating First Message #5: Bio Question

Use your online dating first message to prove that you didn’t only swipe based on her photos and adorable smile. It can feel creepy and too forward to immediately mention or compliment her looks.

What to say in an opening message on a dating site

Show you’re deeper and mature by asking a specific follow up question about something in her bio.

Examples:

(Audrey’s bio says she can’t get enough of concerts)
You: So Audrey, your bio says you’re a concert junkie…what’s your all-time favorite band?
Audrey: That’s so hard! I’d have to go with Muse as absolute favorite though. What about you?

(Lily’s bio mentions she teaches yoga)
You: So Lily, what’s the first thing you would teach a newb like me about yoga?
Lily: Hey! Haha have you been to a class before?
You: No, but I’ve been wanting to give it a try!
Lily: Awesome! Well a lot of yoga is about mindfulness and awareness more than nailing poses!

How To Start A Message On Dating Site

First Messages ALWAYS Work Better When Your Pics are 🔥🔥🔥

Dating

If your pic is meh, whatever you say will seem less charming or interesting. A good pic is a huge advantage in chatting someone up effectively.

Pinpoint your best dating pics by testing them on Photofeeler.

Photofeeler tells you exactly how your photos are coming across to women (or men). You might be shocked at which of your pics are actually most attractive.

Go to Photofeeler.com now and give it a try!

Downloading a dating app is the easy part. What’s not easy is sweating over the pictures that best represent you (or the ones you want to present to hundreds of single women). It’s also not easy to painstakingly craft a bio that’s equal parts informative and humorous.

But toughest of all? Coming up with that first perfectly witty message the minute you match with someone decent. These days, now that women have seen and heard it all on dating apps, making a lasting first impression seems freaking impossible.

So we asked 20 real women to divulge the perfect one-liners, questions, and messages they wish men would send on mobile apps or dating sites. Oh, and by the way: ‘Hey, what’s up?’ isn’t cutting it. But cheese references might. (No, we don’t get it either.)

Here’s what they said:

“I like when a guy tries to get off the app immediately and says something like, ‘Hey, I’m interested in getting to know you. If you’re down, shoot me a text (insert #).’” – Cara J.

“Run with something I have on my profile. Personally, I’m obsessed with cheese. The perfect first message would be something like ‘Saw you’re a cheesehead. I’ve been dying to go to this Italian place that serves four-cheese gnocchi—or pairs wine with half a dozen local cheeses. Interested?’ Um, yes, yes I am. Because A) who wouldn’t be into that? And B) you took the time to be unique. Even if we start messaging and I come to find you’re a wackjob and cancel the date, you still astronomically upped your chances than the guy who sent ‘Hey.'” – Victoria G.

“Something related to my profile or picture that’s relatable. I’ve had a guy say: ‘I’ve been skydiving before, but how incredible was jumping in New Zealand?’ because of a photo I had. I feel like that’s the easiest way to connect with someone—through shared interests.” – Rae P.

“‘Top 3 things you can’t live without—ready, set, go.’ Disarm me, throw me off (without being creepy), and be original. I’ll be way more inclined to play along. And this shows you actually have a personality…or at least a semblance of one.” – Anne S.

“I’m actually totally cool with ‘Hey! How’s it going?’ It’s more grown-up and confident than ‘What’s up?’” – Sasha B.

“Bring up something that’s in my bio or one of my pictures you relate to. Perfect example: ’Hey, What kind of race were you doing? I’m big into fitness, too.’ It shows you’re interested in learning about me (rare among dudes). Remember, the conversation shouldn’t be one-way. And we get to skip the small talk and get right into the conversation.” – Marie L.

“I’ve actually gotten funny memes as a first message. The one that made me die laughing was a cartoon with pounding heart eyes—basically saying he thought I was attractive but not in a completely weird way. It’s just a better icebreaker than ‘Hey.’” – Samantha M.

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“Start with something like: ‘Totally into your profile and interests. Where were you traveling to?’… or, ‘How long did you live in San Francisco for?’ Target bits and pieces of my profile. I chose to highlight them for a reason!” – Caitlin D.

“I honestly like a simple ‘Hey, how’s your day going?’ Ultimatums like, ‘Coffee or sleep?’ or ‘You’re gorgeous.’ annoy and freak me out.’” – Amy S.

“Send a question that relates to something from my profile. It shows you actually took the time to craft a response and didn’t just send a generic ‘Hey, what’s up?’ to every girl on the app. For example, if one of my photos was of me at a concert, make a connection to a concert you recently went to.” – Caroline T.

“I think the perfect first message is direct. ‘Hey, you seem really interesting. Would love to go out sometime.’ Stay away from stupid pickup lines.” – Rachel D.

“Point out how awkward dating apps are and poke fun at yourself without being too self-deprecating and blindingly insecure. Say something like, ‘Trying to come up with a clever one-liner to hit you with gave me more anxiety than the SATs. So I’m just gonna go out on a limb here and say I would love to get to know you outside the confines of this app.’ You seem sincere and I’m WAY more likely to want to get to know you, too.” – Brielle A.

“Always something witty or about food. Or, start with a question about my pictures or bio. I have a lot with my nephew because he’s important to me.” – Laura W.

“Something that makes fun of the app and the situation. Like, pretend to be a character from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and say, ‘Hey, I’m Charlie. I like cheese and live with a guy named Frank.’ I would respect that. Though if I didn’t get the reference, then this would just flop.” – Amanda H.

“I like when a guy is engaging. It might be a little overdone, but asking for two truths and a lie is still, to me, a great conversation starter.” – Laura Q.

“Something unique and also relevant to my life via my profile. Ask, ‘Hey, what kind of nurse are you?’ It shows you’re generally interested in getting to know me as a person—not just what I look like. Anything beats ‘Hey, good lookin’.’” – Vanessa P.

Opening Message Speech

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“‘Your perfect Sunday morning: workout, movie, or brunch?’ Depending on my answer, ask: ‘If I play my cards right, would you like to join me for X, Y, or Z sometime?’ This is PERFECT. It’s clever and not too demanding or creepy, because it’s on me to decide when or if it actually happens. If our conversation goes well and I’m feeling you, then I can initiate picking a date.” – Candice H.

“I like for a guy to show his personality and humor. My now-boyfriend initiated a conversation with: ‘I don’t break apart Kit Kat bars. I eat them whole. Is that a deal breaker?’ I thought this was so weird and funny, I responded immediately.” – Marissa D.

“Anything that makes you seem not like a complete stranger. Make a connection. I’m a law student, so if a guy draws a connection to the fact he’s in grad school or asks about it, it creates instant dialogue.” – Marianna B.

“Compliment me on anything but my appearance. Say I fascinate you or you love that I’m really outdoorsy. Guys need to stop defaulting to cheap wins. We see past that—especially if we’re on here to find an actual relationship.” – Rose T.

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